You Like Me! You Really Like Me!

The following conversation ensued yesterday during lunchtime:

Emery: "Mom, your birthday is next, right?"

Britt: "Yes."

Emery: "How old are you going to be on your birthday?"

Britt: "30."

Emery and Addie (eyes widening and virtually bugging out): "Wow. That is a lot!"

Addie: "How old is Dad?"

Britt: "29."

Addie: "Oh, so you're going to be bigger and older than dad!"

Britt: "Yes, I guess so."

Emery: "When we get old like you then will we be mommies just like you?"

Britt: "Yes, someday you will be a mommy just like me."

At this point, Addie gets a very concerned look on her face and then suddenly the tears begin gushing out.

Britt: "Addie? What's wrong?"

Addie: "I don't want to be a mommy!"

Britt: "You don't want to be a mommy someday like me?"

Addie: "No! Because then I have to live by myself and I can't live with you anymore!"

Britt: "Oh, you are afraid of not living here anymore?"

Addie (still quite frantic and worried): "Yes! I just want to be a little girl and live here and be in your family!"

Britt: "Well, that sounds great! I want you to be a little girl, too. Besides, you won't be a mommy for a very long time. You're going to live here for a long time before you become a mommy. Dad and I are still pretty young. We have to get a lot older like our grandpas and grandmas before it is time for you to be a mommy."

Addie: "But, I just don't even want to think about being a mommy! It makes me feel bad!"

Britt: "Okay, we won't even talk about it."

Addie: "Will I be a little girl and live with you for a long time?"

Britt: "Yes, you will be my little girl for a very, very long time."

The tears slow up and a slight grin develops across Addie's face.

Addie: "How old will I be when I go on a mission?"

Aaaahhh! Although this idea didn't seem to bother her as much as becoming a mommy, I decided to withhold the seemingly scary parts about a mission. And she seemed quite content with the idea of going a mission some day.

This little conversation made my heart do a little thumpety-thump. Her anxieties nearly caused me to burst into tears. We have had a lot of battles with this ferociously feisty four-year old. She is really head-strong and stubborn and her emotional hysterias pop up out of no where like a gust of wind on a calm day. We have really struggled to try and understand her tantrums and have sought a lot of counsel and inspiration on our knees at night. But, a moment like this when a loving Heavenly Father allows me a small glimpse into her tender little heart gives me hope and a boost of confidence that we'll somehow get the hang of this parenting thing. I also realize in these moments that for all of the really hard spots we go through with this kid the good spots are all the more sweet.